Today’s deck is the Tarot For Kids.
Honestly my only complaint is that the cards are too big, I don’t know about you but last I checked kids had small hands, that’s how they got into machinery in the industrial revolution and such.
Today’s reading talks about feeling defeated at the prospect of not being able to chase a goal, which as you’ll see is literally a theme today.
I woke up super late and straight to getting dressed and going out. Single slice of bread in mouth. I’ve been trying and trying to go to the beach and I was gonna do it dammit.
Bag was already prepared, Aurora was already packed, apparently there’s some beaches near koshien and that’s after just one of the nearby stations.
But then when I got to the station I had a bit of heat exhaustion, I basically dragged myself straight from bed so there was little prep, I was feeling tired but ready to push through…. up until my headphones were running low on battery.
I conceded defeat and instead took the train back home.
I think part of the conviction/stubbornness is that this are repeating as they were last year. I wanna work on Everyone’s Detective but then the paperwork for my Visa takes my time, I wanna go to the beach but then other obligations preclude the idea.
I’m definitely coping with all of it better than last year, but the frustration is definitely there and it’s tied to something I’ve been working on.
So as you might expect from the constant trickling of tales of Things Going Sideways For Fer, I don’t have a problem with things not being easy (if anything I become suspicious when they do), dare I say adapting and adjusting fast is something I’m proud of. But that doesn’t remove the annoyance of things getting derailed.
I have a hard time getting back on track when not even scrappiness solves a situation. In the past I’ve spent more time angry at all the plans I had for gamedev being derailed than I had trying to get back into the grind. And not for lack of trying, it’s just a mental block.
So I’m seeing this as a test and I took the first step in a smaller test: Rather than keep forcing a beach daytrip, focus on the prep for the trip to Okinawa.
I’m thinking about all this in bed because predictably, going directly out with only a single slice of bread had me running on empty and tired.
One Linner (like Brunch but one meal later) later, I decided to make good on the resolution by buying some things for the trip. Notably sun blocker, tanning oil, moisturizer cream (I saw how my grandpa’s skin became and I know what awaits me if I’m not careful), and some other toiletries.
That’s actually where the title today comes from. The Sugidrug I bought that in used to be a restaurant, some sort of fish and sashimi restaurant to be precise.
And you wanna know the wildest part? IT HAPPENED TWICE. There’s literally two kinda fancy fish restaurants that became very specifically a Sugidrug during the Pandemic.
I spent the rest of the night afterwards moving things from one spot to another. There’s something interesting in how the declutter process has involved a LOT of moving things from one container to another and somehow it’s actually working.