Today’s deck is the Cosmic Cunt Tarot.
I was fine and even amused by it until the back of the box was all “well this ain’t a deck for a prude that will clutch her pearls because an alien has a phallic probe”.
Perhaps, but I’m instead a pervert that finds the whole thing underwhelming in its raunchiness. Which is all the more annoying since the actually deck is nice.
Also like, “not for prudes” and then censors the word Cunt, come on.
Today’s reading is advising to take it easy and relax lest exhaustion cloud my vision.
The dizzy spells continue to an annoying degree and I can’t wait for them to be done. That did make me curious, however, how alcohol would affect me while they hit me.
Part of it was the funny realization that last time they hit me this bad I didn’t even drink that much on the regular.
So I decided fuck it, let’s test things. However, thinking about it I realized that paradoxically, it’d be less safe to test it at home.
The reason is simple: If I’m at home I know I’m mostly safe and don’t really measure myself because hey, I can pass out on my own floor if I wanted. But going out, especially going out alone, the survival instincts are stronger.
Also, ever since this one time around 2020 where I got so piss drunk in my old apartment that I passed out sitting on the toilet and felt good about my brain shutting off for a while, I’ve been very wary of my own mental state with alcohol.
Today I’ve been in a less sour mood than yesterday, so I went out to Believe x Believe for a bit.
None of the staff from my first visit were there so I got to meet two new extra peeps in the staff. The mood was ever so slightly different as a result. Likewise I sat on the couches by the bottom of the bar rather than the counter.
By the time I arrived there were two pairs of women chatting with someone in the staff, and then after I arrived a guy and later a woman arrived.
The guy was a regular and confused the young one serving that day with Yura (who I met last time) and they do look kinda similar at a distance (to be fair heavy use of foundation does that to facial recognition) but the body language and shorter hair kinda gave it away.
The lady apparently went there from a reccomendation by Yura, incidentally, so it was her first time. And it was interestring to see the contrast between me and her in the sense that we were both quieter and just taking in the ambiance and such. At one point she swotched chairs with the guy that came after me and it was a very “don’t be left out! come in!” sort of moment that I could tell she appreciated.
For me they checked a couple of times on me, but I’m guessing they could tell I was just chillin’ about.
Which I was! While I can put the effort into chatting, I’m honestly at my most natural just people-watching and enjoying the mood of a place. Reminds me of when I went to Tokyo and time flew ’cause I got distracted watching old game ads at Kowloon Bar.
About 2 hours and 4 drinks in I was feeling it so I cut my loses and returned home.
So how did the experiment go? Did I get dizzier?
No, but I got more exhausted. Apparently the bit that got exacerbated was me being extremely tired lately.
I got back home, put head to pillow, and passed out for a solid hour.
I wasn’t even that tipsy!
I was hungry though, so I dragged my ass to order some McDonald’s.
Then while eating I guess I moved my big right toe in a weird way and I feel a snap like when you crack your knuckles, and then a small tingle down the bridge of my foot.
Did I just pinch a nerve? Will I lose my foot?
Tune in tomorrow to find out!