Today’s deck is the Celestial Unicorn Tarot.
So you know how the other day I was like “I’m shocked at how restrained this deck with the word Unicorn on it is”? This is what I had in mind where it’s not merely a theme it’s outright WOE HONSE UPON YE.
Today’s reading is related to the first point of today so let’s skip straight to that.
The bank nonsense has an actual feasible end, holy shit.
My phone woke me up at like 11AM and it was the bank going “Hello, we have an incoming transfer” and I just… snapped awake.
It was routine stuff, “do you recognize the sender”, “can you explain the transfer”, “do you have backing documents”. The funniest part of it was that I was shockingly speaking quite a bit of Japanese and only went “英語大丈夫ですか?” when I didn’t know how to say “Intermediary Bank”.
I’m not entirely out of whe woods, though. It’s currently in the investigation stage and they said it might take one month.
I will not scorn any progress made, however.
I had an interesting emotional breakthrough today too.
I can’t remember what I was doing, but I was ruminating on the tangle of feelings I had the other day and I realized that a big thing hitting me was this… it’s like a fear of “man, people told me I’m cool, I’m gonna disappoint them…”.
Disappoint them how, you ask? What did I do that’s so despicable? Why would I disappoint them? Was I actually tricking them the whole time?
No, it’s nonsense. It’s one of those cognitive distortions that I’ve been fighting for years and while it still crops up and I’m not gonna kick myself for the inherent core of my being that led to those fears existing…
But you see, this time it snuck by.
It’s really weird to explain, but the thought didn’t pass the normal channel where I feel it with my inner voice, it just snuck by and mixed itself with the other tangle of emtions in a very “When the fuck did you get here?!” sort of way.
Am I gonna need to deal with thoughts going Solid Snake on me now? Fuck me…
The rest of the day was a bunch of work stuff, mainly planning. Exciting stuff! Cannot say peep about it.