Today I used the Star Spinner Tarot.
You know, something that really tickles my brain is decks that have specific color palettes for specific cards. One of the Luna Factory decks from a while back… Pastel Wizards I think it was? did that and I love it there too.
This deck does the thing where it adds variants for The Lovers which I will say every time I see it: It’s super rad and I love to see it. HOWEVER this one has FOUR permutations instead of three.
The booklet doesn’t explain it (only points out you should use only one) but from the illustrations I assume you’ve got the MxF, MxM, and FxF permutations PLUS a non-romantic variant which is one iteration I haven’t seen until now and now I’m gonna miss whenever it’s absent.
I’m gonna be honest, the only thing that keeps me from adding it to the Hall Of Fame is that I’m too much of a weeb. But it was *this* close and will remain in my mind nonetheless.
Today’s reading invites me to meditate on any past failures that still haunt me. The timing is kinda fitting because I’ve had a few intrusive thoughts nagging at me lately. None I feel particularly compelled to share in public, though.
Just gotta remember to let them flow by instead of pushing against them. Fear is the mind killer and all that.
As the title might suggest, I literally woke up with an idea for a game that I really liked.
It wasn’t even one of those “you write something you think it’s amazing and wake up to read ‘fizzy cheese’” moments. This was in that very specific spot where I was trying to wake up but I was still in bed. Eyes closed, dozing off enough to let the randomness take the reins but lucid enough to articulate it.
Here’s hoping this idea actually turns into something, though if it doesn’t oh well, the feeling of the Muse visiting in my sleep was interesting.
Afterwards I was deciding on which of the many MANY chores and tasks ahead I had to handle… and upon feeling the executive paralysis creeping in I took the first random task I had in front of me. Quite literally in front of me in this case as I resumed clearing up my desk, which led to sorting a bunch of receipts and also finding things like my vlogging camera.
The anxiety kept creeping up. There’s a deadline I have for Sunday (technically Monday for me because of Timezones, but regardless) and the existence of a deadline freezes me even thought I know that realistically everything’s under control.
I did what I often do when I have those emotions and I drag myself to complete another pending task. In this case I went to the Games Workshop store to pick up some orders. I was kinda dragging myself because even though it’s a fun thing to do because yay books and plastic, I was in that state where I get… mentally stiff. To the point where if I didn’t know better I’d wonder if I forgot my meds.
To be honest, I still kinda wonder if I just got things mixed up because today felt particularly tough.
As expected however, completing a singular task helped my brain calm down and realize that everything will be fine. The anxiety isn’t gone though, I’m an anxious person, that bullshit is NEVER gone and when it actually IS gone it’s such an alien feeling that I get anxious about it.
I’m no longer stiff is my point.
I also finished the Roguelike Book and it was great. Especially because it doubled as a glimpse to how games were made in the 70s and 80s, and the general opinions of people back then about each platform.
It’s also away from the Nintendo canon which, as I’ve made fastidiously clear by now, I’m TIRED of.
No idea which book to try out next or what chore to complete next for that matter, but I’ll figure it out.
We’re halfway there, living on a prayer, etc.