Not Today.
Today’s deck is the Muse Cat Tarot.
This is basically what I’ve been looking for, not so much anthro cats (though there’s nothing wrong with those) but rather cats being cats.
The border is also so pretty… though I assume BECAUSE of that border, I had to un-stick every card from each other.
As it often happens, a card flew out, a Three of wands, so with that in mind, here’s today’s reading:
“With regards to your current setbacks. Remember that teamwork is there to help you when you feel like you can’t balance enough things. Don’t let that get in the way of your prosperity.”
Today’s lesson was to start a Tarot journal… and as much as I’d like to be like “yeah, got that covered already”, it mentions things like noting down your own personal meaning for the cards or days where a card had a special meaning to you.
The Ten of Pentacles is one that comes to mind for this. While its meaning is supposed to be along the lines of wealth and prosperity, whenever I see it I can only think about providing for my family or the threat that I might not be able to. Viscerally so, even.
There were also recommendations like coming up with your own card spreads or coming up with stories for each card. While the latter is definitely for those that are starting to the point that creative writing might be a wholly new thing, the former definitely helps in reminding that there’s rituals but no real rules as it were.
Sidenote, while the language in the book is neutral, there’s been enough bits and pieces that kinda let slip it was writen with a woman reading it in mind. Though that’s the mean reading you can apply, it can be just as well that a woman wrote it.
I woke up at like 1am with really nasty gastric reflux that prompted me to chug some sparkling water. I have reflux medicine but I couldn’t find it in my half asleep state.
The reason for the reflux? Most likely the visa stuff again to be honest.
I’ve also been feeling kinda… useless lately, like I haven’t done anything. I know that’s factually not the case (it’s one of the perks of journaling, you see) but I’ve been trying to shake that feeling off for a while.
It’s probably because I haven’t gone to singing lessons and there’s an online recital coming up, and on one hand I really wanna participate but on the other I don’t feel like I have the mental bandwidth for that and that I’m dissapointing someone (most likely myself) by not doing that.
But then again it’s supposed to be a fun thing, so…
I went out to explore Nipponbashi today, but I made a detour to check Namba City, a mall near the station. There was nothing shop-wise worth nothing but man is it a pretty mall.
I had gyukatsu on a shop I really like, it’s on a second floor above a chinese food place. One of these days I’ll remember its name. A fun thing is that they serve the gyukatsu rare, but give you a small heated iron so you can finish it to your liking.
I got a bunch of Bunny Garden mats because Gamers had a pop up promotional thingy and I got a bunch of cards for the purchase, the cards are meant to be replicas of like… the meishis the girls give you and stuff if I remember right.
Recently they added a fourth character to that game but the twitter account says she’s “in training” so you only see her back.
I’m so happy that game has made as much of a splash as it has.
I checked K-Books because E wanted some Project Sekai (not to be confuse with Sekai Project) merch and I’ll be damned the Project Sekai section of this K-Books is waaaaaaay bigger than the one in Tokyo.
I also stopped by a tobacco shop because E was looking for a kiseru so I sent her the prices. That shop was funny because it also sold airsoft guns and wood gunpla. It’s definitely a shop for a certain Type, kinda like this other tobacco shop in Shinjuku that’s in a Kinokuniya and also sells knives.
Came back home riiiiiiiiiiight beffore it started raining like hell, and after a couple of hours I went to Daiso to buy stuff in order to make these vials filled with quartz, citrine and/or amethyst.
There’s a part of me lately that’s been feeling… nurtured. A part of me that likes crystals and tarot and while I was aware it existed, I didn’t realize how… big of a side of me it was.
By the end of the day I tuned out playing Peglin, it’s basically Slay The Spire meets Peggle. Really fun.
Recently I’ve been thinking about Mio Naruse, more specifically this moment in 2021 where I came across a pic of her on Twitter and something reactivated inside of me.
It went kinda like “This is nice… wait OF COURSE THIS IS NICE THIS DESIGN HAS EVERYTHING YOU LOVE WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS IS NEW? Dear God… WHY are we acting like this is something new?”.
It was almost like it was the first time in a long while my brain was out of the stressed/depressive state it had been stuck in for years and I was just shocked at how much I had forgotten about myself.
I spent so many years stuck trying to mold myself to others’ tastes and rhythm to no avail, that the sight of twintail redhead with huge tits felt like the first time in forever that my brain remembered what it was like to like things on its own.
I was also remembering how I changed schools to the one I graduated from in third grade, and yet I had to clarify so many times to some classmates that I did not remember something from pre-school or first grade because they lowkey assumed I was there already.
Either that, or I spent so much time near my then-best friend (who HAD been there since pre-school) that they confused me with him.