Today’s deck is the Mystic Mondays Tarot.
Apparently the name comes from the fact that “Mondays are the start of the week” which is a cool name, though there’s not much of a theme to this one.
So today’s reading… you know how I’ve talked a lot about reconnecting with the parts of myself that I feel are coming out now feeling safer? today’s reading feels like it’s telling of a period where I might feel like a bunch of proverbial doors are open at once and I wanna do a lot at once either in excitement or misplaced hurries… which I can definitely see.
Princess is an alternative name for Pages in some decks by the by.
Dear pills that make me normal please never leave me.
While V was around I remember I mentioned how probably the main reason I haven’t felt the need to go through gender-affirming procedures is that… honestly a man’s body is too practical for me to forego. Being a clumsy dumbass that lives alone, having a hormonal makeup that makes physical strength easier to acquire is nice.
Obviously anyone can train strength but you know what I mean.
It’s not that the voice isn’t there in a corner of my brain, it’s more that I don’t really feel that uncomfortable in my skin so whenever the voice comes up I go “nah…”. There’s also the part of my brain that find the idea of dancing all over the Gender Line more appealing in general.
With my taste in music having a voice that’s a couple of notes higher wouldn’t be unwelcome, though.
I bring this up, because every time I spend any amount of time without my ADHD meds, the first thing I think is how the side effects are chump change compared to the benefits I feel from it.
Another example that comes to mind was the period where I was taking antidepressants and how I felt it was worth it to stop when I felt like the side effects weren’t worth the benefits.
Funnily enough, the side effect that killed me wasn’t the inability to climax but the stomach aches. And those didn’t stop in over a month taking them.
That’s a long way to say that my brain was more normal today. I also woke up super late. I can’t remember what I dreamt but I woke up… emotional. Not in any specific sad or angry way, just… a lot of emotions for some reason.
After wrapping up some stuff I literally didn’t have the brainpower for yesterday I headed out to see if I found any cool spots to take pics with Flare.
…I did not, so I figured hey I’m already in the area, maybe I can hit the cool mix bar again.
I dropped by but it was closed so I killed time for like half an hour.
Still closed so eh, I decided to return home.
Their calendar did say they opened today but also I believe it was a holiday today so it might’ve added up to opening up a bit later or something.
I did see a Gunpla Bar, though. That’s a cool find.
Not really much else interesting to write about today to be honest. I walked which is good but not much interesting beyond that.
Oh wait! I did find a tarot deck I didn’t have in Book Off, there’s that. It also had a book about ADHD in spiritualism for some reason.