Today’s deck is the Dreaming Cat Tarot
It’s Luna Factory, we stan Luna Factory.
So if you read last post, you’ll know I had a bunch of reversed cards but they felt to me more like an inner reflection. Today’s meanwhile does feel like the reversed meaning sort of thing.
“An inability to forgive and forget harm done to you during ‘simpler times’”. Funnily enough I was already pondering about it before it became relevant to today’s post.
We have a book by Lost In Cult that got announced yesterday. It’s been a fun matter, I got an interview that went from 2 planned hours to 4 because it was just that fun to answer the questions.
But of course as usual when we decide to open our mouth, a bunch of losers came out of the woodwork denouncing us as sellouts, as milking the IP dry, as “doing anything except work on Nirvana”.
And I was SHOCKED… that the worst thing I felt in that moment was “aww man there’s another freak rain with strong winds the petals are gonna blow off the trees!”
In other words I was SHOCKED at how little I cared about that one steam comment talking about us selling a signed used butt plug or whatever.
Not even a full year ago those kinds of comments would’ve soured the rest of my week on a good day, but this time around my reaction was more like whenever I open my fridge and some food went bad.
A bummer? Yeah. Shocking? For sure. Something to make my day worse? Not by a long shot.
Those people don’t actually care about me but about a product, a product that honestly I don’t they’ll even buy when it comes out. So why lose sleep about vitriol that they’d find a way to throw regardless?
There are those that supposedly care about the product but time and time again they show more concern about the end result rather than those that make it happen.
The darnedest thing, however, is that I was already aware of all this, this was all stuff I knew intellectually, but it finally sank in.
If they spend so long spitting venom and not realizing we go silent to avoid being spat on, that’s not my problem.
If they get so upset about a videogame that they didn’t pre-order there’s bigger issues at play that are none of my business.
I could be angry that PepeLover69 (the kind of dude that would be an introvert pussy the moment I meet him face to face) is calling me and the game slurs… OR I could go out and take photos that I can then show to the people that actually care about me too show them something cool.
To make a mountain out of the molehill that is a single piece of media’s release or lack thereof is to fall into the same hole as those types and I feel like I’m beyond that by now.
Obviously it affects me, there’s a reason why I’m writing about it, but my point is that it doesn’t affect me as hard as I thought it would compared to before.
In fact, here’s another funny realization from today.
As I eluded to earlier, between yesterday and earlier today there’s been those freak strong-but-brief spring rains. And I was bummed that the sakura were being blown away.
But then I go for a walk after Japanese lessons and I see that hey, the trees still have flowers! Not only that but now there’s a carpet of petals and they rain on you.
I was already thinking a lot recently about how pretty the whole process is. The first blooms opening up, the trees at their peak, that part when the green and pink start mixing for a while, the part where there’s carpets of petals…
But today, with the whole Toxic Internet bit in mind another bit dawned on me.
“It’s gonna take more than this to blow everything away.”
And so I went out to take photos in Sakuranomiya, specifically going north rather than south which is an area I’m realizing I haven’t explored as much.
First on the line was Akane. Akane is very easy to pose because she’s just “Evil Luna”… by which I mean she calls herself a little devil but is actually a kind and considerate girl.
And since I already have Luna down to a science it means posing akane is just relative to her.
Next was Amane (no the Akane Amane bit wasn’t intentional, actually).
I thought the experiments trying to show the construction right behind her would be easier than showing the carpet of petals but turned out to be the other way around.
After all of these I went to get food and since I was in the area I decided to go check on my psychiatrist for the LINE appointment thingy not working.
Apparently they switched to an app at some point, so I take the pamphlet with the QR code and return home only to find out that I can only make appointments three weeks from now which is a problem because I have week and a half of meds at most and spending 10 days without the Be Able To Do Things Pills is gonna suck.
I’ll make a token effort to reschedule in person on Monday, and I’m honestly fighting back the dread of Unmedicated time… but you know what?
It’s gonna take more than this to blow everything away.