Today’s deck is the Puppy Tarot.
Super lovely, bummer about the backs of the cards though.
Today’s reading advices to push ahead with the choices in front of me, safe in knowing I know what to do.
Which became relevant from the moment I woke up, actually.
I woke up in… not the best mood, what happened was that thinking about how I MIGHT end up with no meds for like 10 days made me go into “let’s do as much as I can before I start running with half a brain” mode, which, of course, made executive dysfunction kick in.
I’m KINDA worried that the prospect of a lack of meds has given me so much anxiety. But then again I think about how, for example, if my sight was a bit worse and I didn’t have glasses I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything sensitive, and I already get headaches without my glasses as-is.
I wonder how much of it is the fact that “disability” conjures up more severe impairments instead of leaving space for smaller conditions.
Perhaps it’s in the nature of the linguistics at play. I talked ages ago about how, at least in Spanish, “Feminism(o)” reads as just “Machismo” but inverted. Perhaps if you call say… executive dysfunction a disability there would be the pushback of “no no, it’s not that bad” despite the fact that it is, in fact, that bad.
It’s also just shocking to oneself and those close to you, I guess, to face the fact that something about you no matter how small is impaired in some way.
If, within a figure of speech I froze at the start of the day, I thankfully thawed as the dcay went on and managed to do a shocking amount of sorting around the house.
E is coming in about 10 days and I might actually not have a Death Trap by then.