And thus a new month rolls around [screams].
Mandatory forecast for the month indicates a struggle that starts withrealizing how many hands there are on deck to solve matters, a mid-month full of trying to balance monetary independence vs matters that must be left behind, and an end of month full of wough financial patches.
The mental state will be mainly concerned with monetary independence concerns, followed by exhaustion from responsability and at the deepest level a sense of “why do I even bother” as I balance things.
In general just a sense of priorities that must be chosen and lines drawn.
So in other words I need to start moving with extra solutions to all the card nonsense I’ve been going through, gotcha.
Speaking of which, the credit card didn’t gets its payment request just yet and I’m dreading that I’m gonna have to wait until the end of the month to be able to use it again.
In which case who the fuck needs to wait that long to pay for 30.000 yen? A kid maybe? Dunno… Only a kid would feel like 30.000 yen is enough to last them a whole month.
Back to my day, I had a weird ass dream where a big leech got up my ass and then I woke up. I was immediately reminded of that one book about Shamanism and about how shamans build up an arsenal of guardian spirits… in which case, “my guardian spirit is a big red leech that lives up my anus” sure is a turn of phrase…
I also had a different dream where old classmates were shooting people in a mall, not even maladjusted ones, just… random classmates from high school with guns in hand. The dream is weird on its own, but something interesting I’ve noticed is that in some nightmares I tend to have the power to reset things, but each reset takes more and more effort until I wake up.
Interestingly, I can’t remember any dreams where I’m being violent against someone or something… but I have plenty of dreams where I judo throw people for some reason…
Back in awakeland, I had Japanese lesson and I turned up late because fuck me it was hot today and I had to cool off at some conbini on the way.
The lesson went smoothly and then I decided to wait and see if Evil opened up today.
It did! And there was like two months of catching up which was fun. Eventually a group of four people came in from a different bar and something interesting I’ve noticed is that the moment people realize you can kinda speak the language they immediately want to talk your ear off.
The moment they hear you pronounce things properly oh boy they wanna ask you everything.
Eventually a second group of like three guys comes in and I figured I should give them my seat, it was like 11PM and I’d been there since 8PM, they were all apologetic, but I was like “it’s fine, it’s fiiiiiiine”.
I’d been in lowkey “aight gotta go” mode since 10PM and I was in that border where one more drink and I would stop feeling my face anyways.
It was a fun day. I sat and wrote Smut Attempt Number Two while I waited for the worse of the booze to wear off and chugged like two liters of water total.