Today’s deck is the Spheres of Heaven Tarot.
It’s pretty and I appreciate the idea of The Lovers having two extra variations and how they all feel like part of the same set. Only problem is that the deck is more like a Marseilles deck so no illustrations outside of the major arcana.
Today’s reading is encouraging me to meditate when I feel overwhelmed by everything.
Emphasis on WHEN rather than IF.
Today ended up being one of those Wake Up At 8PM sorts of days but damn if I didn’t sleep good.
Today’s breakfast(????) was leftovers from yesterday. It’s my usual meat stir fry, but I put extra effort into adding freshly minced onions and garlic. I also made a relish by mincing cornichons (the smaller pickled gherkins) and both green and black olives.
Ever since my lactose allergy got worse, olive relish is the closest I have to the taste of pizza.
I woke up to L telling me I should try this one personality test that a Human Resources company uses to determine what type of worker you are and they nailed me perfectly.
The tendency in how I work, the description on how to best work with an Individualist and how it lines up with problems I’ve had in the past working with others. The wild thing is that all it asks is “what words in this listdo you feel describe what others expect” and “what words in this list you dfeel describe you”.
It even has an owl. It’s fitting because haha Night Owl, but also I was just talking a couple of days ago about how I’ve become more bird-like with time so it’s a fun parallel to see happen.
I decided to go to Minoh falls and see if I can take some pics with Yuuna and Yuuki. Apparently the train I normally take only heads out starting from 7am and I was heading out at 5 so I took a different route that involved a bus.
I went to a spot I remembered from like 2 years ago and started taking pics. The only other person nearby was another hiker that just sat and was reading.
At what I projected to be roughly the tail end of the session a trio of kids, three teenage boys that I would be shocked if they were older than 15 dropped by to play in the river.
I COULD’VE continued taking pics but I don’t like taking pics while minors are in the vicinity, and here we weren’t talking only minors but three shirtless ones while at it.
I was mildly annoyed at stopping with only one or two photos left to go, but 75% ain’t bad.
What I thought while I waited to see if Haruto (the only name I caught them shooting) and his friends might leave soon or not was a slight pang of jealousy.
Growing up I didn’t really have anyone I connected with like that. I didn’t go to a classmate’s house to play until around third grade and even then I needed homework as an excuse get my dad to drive me to places. I also didn’t have neighbors, and living in a while ass main street left me a bit isolated.
I didn’t meet someone I wanted to actively spend time with until college, and even by college I wasn’t as self actualized as I am now. To be fair, turns out a lot of the feelings of being an outsider was the fact that I didn’t feel right with the boys but I was also not effeminate enough to hang out with the girls (though that realization only came when I was 27).
I guess that’s why I’m not a nostalgic person at all, because for me there’s very little to look back onto that hasn’t improved by now. I think it’s also why old pictures of me aggravate me so much, because I only remember pain.
Funnily enough, one of the signs around 2020 for me that I needed to start therapy was that I found myself pining for “the good old times” and there’s nothing more out of character for me than that.
Anyway, Haruto and his gang soon started making themselves comfortable in the whole area while they filmed themselves catching crabs and and turning rocks and that’s when, with a groan, I admitted defeat, packed up and headed back.
I hope that trio can look back fondly to the memories they’re making today, but also fucking kids, man. I was having a blast before those pipsqueaks with zero social awareness started messing around.
Also man, I’ve always been thin, but those kids were even thinner than me what the hell. I think my dad and grandpa’s body type just kinda evened me out so I don’t look AS thin even when I definitely am.
Speaking of kids, lately I’ve seen The Kids getting really into Azumanga Daioh and it’s been a bit aggravating. While I liked Azumanga Daioh, a lot of its humor was annoying, or rather, certain characters were annoying to me. Tomo and Osaka in particular.
And you’ll never guess who are the two characters that I’ve seen the kids latch onto so hard lately. And they ARE kids, they always have their age in their bio and they’re always below 21, more often than not actual teenagers.
I remember one of the reasons I latched so hard onto the K-On! manga was that (especially back in like 2008) that whole sub-genre was still young and I wanted the relaxed parts of Azumanga Daioh without the “I wanna punch Tomo so badly holy cow” parts.
Which of course, made me all the angrier when KyoAni adapted K-On and not only did they literally actually remove jokes (to the point where sometimes you have the same dialog but they changed the context and tioming so it’s no longer a punchline) but they added the famous KyoAni forced drama into a manga that had none of it.
Looking back to it, I think it doesn’t help that the character designs in the anime are made to be so baby-like when I have a visceral revulsion towards babies. I tend to be revolted by morphings of the human shape that look forced or unnatural (any filter that makes a girl have bigger eyes makes me irrationally angry for example) and what bigger perversion of the human shape is there but barely sentient babies.
It also didn’t help that when Haruhi Season 2 finally came out they changed the designs to be more K-On! adjacent which certainly added fuel to THAT fire.
No, I don’t like kids. Thank you for noticing. Which only makes all the people that have called me a pedophile because of Dorothy in Valhalla all the more hilarious.
We laugh to not cry after all.