Today’s deck is the Shuttle Mirror Tarot.
I love it, not only are the illustrations cool but the actually use the foil to give everything fun patterns instead of just Shiny Card.
It’s more Duel Masters and Digica than MTG or YGO is what I’m saying.
This was one I got when I was looking to get one of those “has the meaning written in the card” for fun tho, so lord knows why it was promoted that way.
It’s going into the rotation regardless.
Today’s reading is super interesting. Recently I’ve been thinking about this very specific problem of me feeling unable to daydream. It’s a big deal because I used to daydream all the time, God knows how much I coped with school thanks to it.
Now, I know the exact reason why I can’t. Back in 2021 during my lowest point ever I pushed myself to not daydream in order to… basically accelerate facing all the weird stuff my brain was dealing with at the time, but the result is that now when I’m “safe” I’m still unable to.
I actually noticed it because a month ago during the whole “Fer has a crush and a bunch of Problems are resurfacing” saga, I daydreamed a lot about that one friend I confessed to, but after things cleared up I became suddenly unable to again. Not necessarily related to the person in question or even the rejection mind you, it was a problem on a different dimension of things as it were.
It’s also, coincidentally, something that came up last time in therapy so…
Today was an off day in many ways.
First day without appointments, first day without anything too special in the docket, but more importantly: No ADHD meds today.
This was deliberate. I’ve got just TWO pills left, I’m getting my prescription on Friday night, it’s Wednesday, and I’ve got more stuff to do on Thursday and Friday than today so I decided to just… take it easy today.
With no meds comes appetite, or rather, any semblance of opinion on what I might wanna eat, and after dropping by JS Burger I was feeling like having the Mushroom Burger, but I was also… not feeling like travelling too far.
I checked their list of shops and wouldn’t you know it, they have one in Kobe also, but the distance was about the same as from Lalaport time-wise.
I figured I should go to the station and take it from there, even if I didn’t feel like going to either spot, there’s enough restaurants in the area.
The winds were blowing towards ramen at the moment so I checked the map and…
…holy shit is that…
OKAY, okay… okay let me explain this just in case you’re new.
Roman-tei was my favorite local restaurant. It had a lot of meaning for me because not only was their Harami Steak amazing, but it was also my first “local find”, the first local restaurant I tried and found great.
I speak in past tense because last year they closed and I was very VERY bummed about it, especially since the Hamburg Steak that’s now in their place isn’t… the best.
I love hamburg steak, it takes a LOT for me to talk smack about hamburg steak.
…by the way, for those that don’t know, hamburg steak is basically a burger patty served in a plate rather than as a dish.
Turns out I’m dumb and Roman-tei actually UPGRADED itself, because it’s now right by the JR lines and the shinkansen instead of the relatively more obscure corner it was before.
As I’m containing my excitement about it I hit the cashier with the mandatory 久しぶり and she was like “oh you remember us?” and I needed to keep it at “yeah!” instead of me going on a tirade about how much their business means to me.
So not only did I get my meal, it was honestly the best possible result for it all. But I still decided to do some groceries on the way back, and because I’m unmedicated I needed a nap.
One nightmare about being in an earthquake that somehow rotated the whole building later, I was back up.
I just let my whims take the wheel, which meant uh… taking out the trash and cleaning stuff.
Cleaning things is usually supposed to be a problem when you have ADHD but I guess my brain just finds it fun somehow.
Not much else to report thankfully… aside from me snacking more than usual. It’s not even a matter of apetite, it’s like without the pills my brain opens up the “we’re idling so let’s eat” part of itself.
I don’t really like being unmedicated, but it’s definitely interesting whenever I do end up like that.