Today’s deck is the Revelations Tarot.
Third one I’ve used that does the thing where the design looks different if the card is reversed. Still as neat as the first time, as far as gimmicks go.
Today’s reading warns against shortsighted money movements. I think the cards sensed me thinking “what if I got TWO lenses though…”.
A couple of weeks ago I mentioned waking up feeling like I had someone looking over me on my bedside, like there was a shadow that vanished the moment I got startled awake.
Today I had another one of my dream visits, this time by my childhood dog. And I need you to understand that when I say “childhood dog” I mean a dog that was in my life from the moment I was like 9-10 until I was like 23-24, she lived like 16 years (we got her when she was like one year old), it’s someone that’s easily in my heart in the same place as my grandpa.
So visits from her make sense. The dream was also nothing special, I was in my childhood home (one of the few times the dream doesn’t have me going “oh God how long have I been here, I need to return to Japan”), petting her and hugging her.
So I wake up from this dream and I swear to God I saw a hand made of shadow hovering over me, which vanished the moment I got startled awake by that.
I should also point out that I spent like three minutes trying to figure out what shadow I saw that my brain thought was a hand but there was no shadow, even the light seeping into the room wasn’t casting shadows on the wall or roof.
The day (or rather night given the time I woke up at) was mostly uneventful, just me going through the usual motions, unless you count me being hit with I’m Gonna Fucking Die Syndrome for unknowingly fasting for a bit too long.
Through the whole day I kept thinking about the shadow though.
My first instinct was to assume that it was evil, that the dream I had was Niña (my dog) shielding me from it by the time I saw it, but… was it?
I’ve had plenty of nightmares in the past (especially of the sleep paralysis kind) about things that feel like they’re legitimately out to get me, but this one was just standing there.
The hand was also not really in any threatening place or position, it was just hovering over my head as if petting me while asleep rather than trying to choke me. For all I know it was Niña reciprocating outside the dream.
On that note, while I said a couple of days ago that my grandpa wasn’t really a mystic by any stretch, I then remembered a couple of things like how as he was near his death he kept pointing at the backyard claiming someone was passing by… the same spot, may I add, where my mom says I, as a baby, would point to and say “Kali”.
Then there’s how my uncle survived a surgery with so little chance of success he has a messy scar because according to my mom “they closed him just to not have his guts in the open” after seeing a woman (in an area where not even my grandma was allowed in, mind you) that gave her a piece of candy THAT HE HAD IN HAND WHEN THEY WERE FINALLY ALLOWED INSIDE (they threw the candy away because who knows if some crazy person tried to poison him).
My family on my mom’s side is very devout to the Coromoto Virgin because of that, since she resembles what my uncle says he saw that day.
So basically the spiritual affinity… or the madness, depending on how you look at it, is apparently genetic and for some reason I was the one that got it instead of my cousin (my uncle’s son).
So on one hand it seems like the shadow might just be protecting me instead of being something weird I brought with me from when I felt haunted in Meoto Iwa. On the other, can I please see ghosts and shadows at literally any other time other than sleep time? I already have enough traumas involving waking up to THINGS as-is.