Today’s deck is the Simple Tarot You Don’t Have To Memorize.
Simple? Yes. Nice? Definitely. That you don’t have to remember? That’s the bit I don’t fully get…
Today’s reading is reflecting how currently my biggest fear/concern is the passion for everything stopping on its tracks, which… yes. Most definitely. Yes.
Another day of feeling absolutely, completely awful when waking up. And let me tell you, I am TIRED of this nonsense. Like, physically exhausted.
So I decided to take the chance and… to put it simply, run a self-diagnostic on what’s affecting me. While there’s a bunch of elements out of my control, I wanted to check for anything I COULD address on my own.
I try to keep this whole thing on a tight leash because some elements of it are (and I mean this with every ounce of respect I can muster for any random person coming across this post) none of your business. To be more specific I’m glad to share the fact that I’m having issues with banks because there’s the sympathy and experience of “oh man you too?” but the specifics of my finances are something I’d rather keep to myself.
A lot of it is that in the past I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable and share with fans of our work the weaknesses that have resulted in our output being less than we’d like, and to this day some people still use… not even the moment of weakness itself but the vague outline of what they think they heard about it.
My favorite rumor to this day is the one where they claim I “ran away with the money to Japan” because bitch I WISH shit was that easy, that moving to Japan meant I can forget about work instead of my whole stay here being dependent on working my ass off.
Anyway, I bring the tangent up because one of the biggest pressure points of the whole situation I’m in is based around the fact that with our money being held hostage by paperwork, our time before things got dicey was in a really tight constraint.
Think about it this way (and this is an example, I’m obscuring the actual amount for obvious reasons): We can keep normalcy in the “cash flow frozen due to bullshit” situation for two months, but then I project how long will it take for the situation to fix itself and in the most ideal scenario it’s gonna be exactly 2 months… I’d rather not be in that position, I’d rather have AT LEAST two extra months of leeway.
Anyway, all the very defensive shpiel before is preamble to the fact that I requested some friends for help in that front. It’s all money that could be repaid the moment I HAVE ACCESS TO MY OWN DAMN MONEY. The defensive shpiel is also because there is a higher than zero chance one person will read that and it will spin into “Sukeban is asking money from the Yakuza” with the very repudiable source of Anonymous Imageboard User.
I’ll take the risk. I’m leaning on the help of my friends in a tight moment to hopefully stop waking up feeling like absolute shit.
With that pressure let out of my brain, the desire to do… something, anything came flooding in. I now had enough space in my brain to vocalize the need for recreation.
I decided to go to the Osaka Aquarium… but not to the aquarium itself.
When I went with E months ago we saw a souvenir shop with fossils and cool rocks in it, and simply put Tough Times Demand Cool Rocks.
The street was packed but hey, it’s Saturday after all.
I got me some cool rocks and noticed that DQ Walk had a sidequest triggered by being near the Kaiyukan and LOOK AT THIS.
The nearby food court was packed but I did find a sushi place that was less packed.
Sidenote, Wendy’s doesn’t let you take the cheese out of burgers for some reason so I’ve not eaten in Wendy’s in years.
More specifically, when the pandemic started they shifted things so you just order on a screen and all the staff is in the kitchen, so there’s no way to go “hey please make this order without cheese”.
I mean I could probably tell them, but that’s mental effort not worth a fucking Wendy’s.
I decided to head to the Volks shop afterwards and while on the train I was actually wondering if one can just… go to Yumeshima now that the Osaka Expo is done.
The street is also packed here, there was even a small improvised food truck street but I start thinking about how that’s the sort of thing they prop up when they know it’s gonna be a packed day rather than it being a packed day because it’s propped up.
Well, turned out it’s Shichi-Go-San which also explains the sheer amount of kids out and about.
Anyway, I stopped by the art gallery on the way and they had Amakano 3 metallic prints so that was already cool.
Then I go to the Volks shop and I get IDEAS. One of the newer stuff they’re selling is just… perfect for Halloumi.
I return excited to play with dolls and remembered I had to return the key to my old place so oops.
I did so, but that element isn’t completely done yet. I gotta take all the trash out, basically. At least I don’t have to clean anything up, that was my actual fear.
Handing over that key is definitely the end of a whole chapter of my life… one that ends in an emphatic GOOD RIDDANCE, but still.
That reminds me that I should check what the procedure is to forward mail while I change addresses.