Almost back, almost back…
Today’s reading speaks of healing and internal renewal, which is a welcome reinforcement as you’ll soon see.
But first… I had another weird dream today. I think writing them down makes my brain more sensitive to remembering them… or maybe it’s just an eventful period and I happen to have writing tools nearby.
This time I dreamt that I had a dragon girlfriend and I was visiting her parents, where the mom is a serpentine chinese dragon. She talks me down by explaining that there’s a tradition where the dragon matriarch burrows into her daughter’s prospective boyfriend’s head and lay eggs before popping out and that I was too much of a coward to go through with it. But I talk up a storm and the disdain turns to pride. Then the dragon mom turns around and she’s headless but like… looking like a ceramic decoration that broke. She goes berserk and starts clawing at my head and after like two or three swipes I keep her at bay away from burrowing into my head and despite the apparent breach in protocol this is good? And the family accepts me.
Out of all the stress responses I might’ve had, that dream wasn’t one I expected to be honest.
Back in the real weirdness rather than the dreamt one, I was filling in the forms for the other passport renewal, the Venezuelan one, and lemme tell you Trauma’s a bitch.
Just filling in the address had me trying to overpower every instinct in my body screaming “don’t give them your address, what if they break into your house like they did before?”.
I know rationally nothing will happen because I’m not the first one to do this in recent memory, and I KNOW I’ve not done anything wrong, but regimes aren’t known for following conventional logic, are they?
The break in that’s kicking my proverbial mental ass was because of accusations of bitcoin mining, something that wasn’t even illegal to begin with and that I hated with a passion long before everyone had their own personal grift.
But anyways, it came time to go out so go out I did. Thankfully it was a single train from here and then a bit of a walk.
Weather’s still not the best but better than the last two days at the very least.
I reach the embassy and thankfully everything was in order… aside from the fact that they were taking my fingerprints and it was like 10 minutes of getting the machine to cooperate.
While making small talk asking about what I did for a living, the worker recognized VA-11 Hall-A. I do have friends that volunteered during the last election so they probably talked about it but it was surreal to hear that sort of recognition.
I had to make a brief stop to buy a yu-pack envelope so they can send the passport to my address, and also the passport will arrive in three months.
hopefully you can kinda see what the cards said after I talked about trauma.
The friend that’s visiting Japan that I hung out with decided to take it easy today which is honestly a good call so I didn’t have anything to do. I briefly considered returning one day early but then I remembered I had my reservation for tomorrow specifically.
Instead I ended up taking a 3 hour nap or so.
I felt very low energy with no idea what to do but thankfully turned out Mandaloregaming streamed the other day and so I had an 8 hour VOD to entertain myself.
My brain was too stuck in “I wanna go back to my house” to really think much about anything… or it might be winding down from the trauma.
Probably the trauma.