Today’s deck is the Hieronymus Bosch Tarot.
I always appreciate stuff that allows me to learn or try things I wouldn’t otherwise. That’s why I like course meals and why I like these sorts of decks. This one tried to be a little TOO cute with the minor arcana and even added seven Deadly Sins cards.
Today’s reading tells me that with all the self-doubts and fear of lost control of lately, I should just trust my own boundaries.
So one of the first things I did was go back to IdolHorse.
I had a note on my calendar to bring eggplant pickles to one of the staff but… that sounds like something I’d offer drunk. I’d rather wait a little bit more to offer it sober, y’know, who knows what this strangers puts in the food and such.
It was a short stay and I only had soft drinks, but I can confirm nothing weird happened… in fact I apparently just started talking about my cats and why they’re called what they’re called and how I miss them.
It’s reassuring to know that autopilot Fer is the exact same, you never know what might happen once the rational brain is turned off.
Gotta give myself more credit, I guess.
When I returned I noticed I had a twitter DM I didn’t see. Apparently in the midst of all the other drunk stuff I followed the staff there too (shocking since I’m usually at the Following cap) and she had a pleasant time and had fun… in fact everyone asked me if I had funs since they clearly did.
And that’s when the confusion inside of me shifted.
Now it wasn’t “oh shit oh fuck I can’t remember anything what if I was a creep”, now it was “I had fun and I cannot remember a single thing”.
That’s… worse, somehow.