Today’s deck is the Heart Tarot.
True to its name, this deck has a cool gimmick where all the cards are made to fit inside the outline of a heart. Not a ❤️ heart mind you but an anatomically correct one.
I’ve mentioned to a few friends how the reaction to all the Still In Love posts has been reassuring. Some people telling me it sold VN fans on the game and others feeling some of the more personal moments resonant. This is reassuring more than encouraging (though it is also that) because I don’t really have the means to release as many big projects as I’d like, so the writing chops showing through on something that’s mostly research/opinion is hella reassuring.
Anyway, today’s reading feels like a reflection of THAT.
As we say in my country, I woke up with the sheets glued onto me.
Doesn’t help that I’ve had to drag myself out of bed the past few days so sleep debt is kicking my ass, and also doesn’t help that it’s been cold. But not the regular cold, no, the whack “it’s 6° feels like 0°” kind of cold.
I spent the day sorting things around. I cleared the path to the room E will stay in to set the futon and its stuff inside. I then realized that honestly in an evaluation of how much I use it vs how much of an obstacle it can be, I can probably throw away my kotatsu. It’s been useful but it’s space that can be used for other stuff.
In the process I started thinking about photos, specifically, there’s two things I’ve got in mind: March commemoration and sakura season.
These are two different traditions, March Commemoration is based on the fact that the first pics I ever took with a big doll were on March of 2021, so I like to take some pic in March that is like “this is my improvement over the years”.
Sakura Season meanwhile, refers to the fact that ever since 2022 I’ve gone out and taken pics with the girls in school uniform, I actually save up all the school uniforms for this specific situation.
I should get back into making profiles for the girls and updating the existing ones, it’s been A While and I left right before making Natsu’s almost exactly one year ago.
It’s been A Year, as often stated…
I sorted all the knives and blades and cutting things on the new toolbox and it feels so good to have everything sorted, not to mention I randomly found one of my hammers and I went “OH HELL YEAH I KNOW WHERE THIS IS SUPPOSED TO GO”.
Aside from that, I’ve been on a blocking spree the past couple of days. A collab with Rift of the Necrodancer released and people started coming out of the woodwork like GEE WHERE’S THAT SEQUEL SUKEBAN?
I’ve made my opinion on those matters very clear, there’s a non zero chance you’re reading this because of the thread someone posted on Steam with the devlog I made almost one year ago. But a big part of it is that I have this… trauma about only being appreciated for the resource value I bring to the table, hangups about “Fer is only valuable because he make game not because he has value as a person beyond any professional element”.
Which I feel is why I’ve become so jaded about videogames, because your well-being is not important to Gamers so long as you release a thing that they will bitch about anyways.
I know I’ll be fine, I know it’ll all be fine. People clal me a great writer just from how I write about horsegirls. But I’ll be forgiven for needing to deal with that bullshit in any way whatsoever. The worst part is that most of the people loudly bitching just do it because it’s the funny way to convey feelings online or because they just want an excuse to be angry. Anyone that has been loyal to us to the point I know their names doesn’t do that.
And oh yeah that devlog is almost one year old and it’s not the first time I’ve tried to start that one project in earnest but hey, by logging all the bullshit I’ve been going through anyone curious would be able to see why Fer no make game.
Also like… the concept of begging/demanding stuff like that is so silly to me. Criticism is a different thing, this isn’t about that specifically. More like… when I see people saying dev should do this or that… people don’t get into indie development to be told what to do, the complete opposite in fact.
Anyway, I don’t want the vortex of darkness to seep out so I’ll leave things here. It was a good day and I don’t wanna record it with all the excess bitterness that escapes from time to time.