Today’s deck is The Magic Tarot.
It’s very charming. Not much else to say, though.
Today’s reading has an undercurrent of fighting an inner struggle between patting myself in the back and being wary which is very much the vibe of today.
With no particular plans today, I went to the horseracing bar I’ve mentioned a couple of times. I actually got a DM from someone in the staff yesterday asking if I wanted to drop by and the timing was actually shocking because I was planning on going anyways and was about to DM them.
To be honest, that has had my brain twisting itself into a pretzel repeatedly. I’m constantly thinking “where’s the catch” and being suspicious about… nothing, really.
It’s not really a complicated matter: A local social business likes having me around enough to DM me and I like the place enough to heed the call. It’s as simple as I Was Nice And They’re Being Nice.
But I’m not used to that. Talking about it with N, the perfect way to phrase it came up: I’m used to Being Nice being more of a shield, like bad things will always splash my way but being nice is in the end something that lessens the impact one way or another.
To put it another way: I’m not used to gentleness actually resulting in a tangible positive number in the karmic scale, I more expect it to make it so the number doesn’t fall too low in the negatives.
By the way, I wouldn’t consider myself a “Nice Guy”, especially because when I talk about “being nice” I always say it in the tone of someone doing something self-destructive. Being nice is a bit of a compulsion and there’s always a chunk of my brain admonishing me out of self-preservation, but also I literally don’t know how to be any other way, so I tend to live in a “just be that way, we’ll weather the storm when it comes” sort of way.
Which is why being that way paying off in a more immediate manner is so shocking.
Which is also why the DRK questline in FF14 is hands down my favorite piece of media ever, because they basically grabbed my brain and put it on the screen.
ANYWAY, I went to the bar and it was fun. I talked about the Kinosaki adventure and we talked about Cat Island and Rabbit Island while watching videos of it in one of the TVs.
“Fer, didn’t you say this was a horseracing bar?” Yes.
I suspect having a local that likes the place and isn’t the usual gambling ojiisan or office worker might be a breath of fresh air sometimes.
Maybe.
After returning I spent the rest of the night building a bookshelf that will be filled with media like CDs and Blu-Rays.
It’s about time I got back into sorting things around the house.